Thor

The onyx stallion had returned to the lands he had resided in for a short time some time ago. He'd left, not even saying good-bye, even though he only had one to say good-bye to. He'd felt his actions were wrong for a stallion of his alliance. He'd gone to start a new life, yet realized that the one meeting he'd had with a fae had changed his entire life. And he was having a hard time adjusting. He was supposed to be a damn dark lord for cryin' out loud! And yet, when he'd met the fae, love had been introduced to him, something many darks went without. While living here he had retained his darkness with all others except for the fae. But at his new realms it was different, his personality was dark and black, but he had felt depressed, empty, and tired the whole time.

He'd never felt that way before in his entire life, and he didn't like it. So it had taken him two months to figure it out, but he'd eventually decided to return to HV, to see if he 'returned' to normal in the lands that he'd last been normal in. He'd thought of Locket a lot, but had often tried to push her out of his mind, for she was, in a way, an angel and he was the devil. Angels and devils don't mix, it just doesn't work that way. So he'd accepted it was part of the past, that he needed to move on and...forget her. But he never had. Thor'd thought it unfortunate at the time that he remembered her, but he knew that she would always have an effect on his life.

Thor entered the lands, HV, the lands he'd been traveling to. What was he looking for here? A home, a herd in lands familar to him? Was it simply an expirament? Or was he looking for Locket? He wasn't sure himself. The brute shook his cranium, frowning in distaste. Oh how he hated himself right then. He was turning into a damn lover, a light one. That made him upset, that was something he would never become, for he felt that meant he was not strong enough or brave enough to resist love's temptation. Oh damn, what the hell was he thinking? Damn it. Ugh. Life was too confusing. Just end it now and get it over with.

Speaking of death, he was in deathland at the moment. The deathland other than the claiming lands where lights sold their souls, leading to death by cowardness. He grumbled to himself and shook his cranium, eavesdroppers pulled back. The more he thought about where he was and less about his past the grumpier he got. Suddenly a familar scent hit his nares. He followed it, not knowing why. It just felt right, like something he had to do or he would be curious for the rest of his life.

Then he knew why. He knew why he'd followed that scent and why he'd come back. But why why why??? Why couldn't he just stay who he'd been before?? Ugh!!! He struck at the earth furiously, attempting to release some of his anger and frustration. No good, the lithosphere decided not to help and simply annoyed him further. He'd known why the moment he saw the silhouette of a fae on the horizon. He knew who she was. It was Locket. But damn it, why? Would he never stop asking himself that? He did not understand this damn world, this resulted in frustration, which led to anger. Anger good, anger bad? Who knows? Who cares? He did, it matters, mattered. Damn. He struck out at the ground once more, muttering to himself. He took a deep breath, looked back over to the silhouette, but stood still, saying nothing. Just standing.

Thor

The brute stood still, a grumpy frown upon his maw, eavesdroppers pulled back. His body trembled with frustration and anger, wanting to be released. He held back these feelings to the best of his ability. Eavesdroppers flicked about simply to catch the words of Locket, or rather, the word. 'Why?' Thor snorted and tossed his onyx cranium, muttering to himself. Then he spoke, clearly and loud enough for her to hear, his voice of a grumpy old man who'd been woken from a peaceful sleep in the middle of the night.

"Well now, Isn't that the common question."

It wasn't a question, it was a statement. He wasn't asking if it was the common question, he was saying it was the common question. He'd been ripping himself apart wondering why, she'd been wondering why as well. Why why why why why why why???? Nobody knew, nobody knows, nobody would know, especially not Thor. He pawed listlessly at the lithosphere, moving the soft, lifeless dirt about. He frowned again and shook his cranium, ropes swinging about. Oh how he wanted to scream or fight, or do anything to release his dark anger and frustration. But nothing would or could help him now. He groaned in subtle agony, not from pain, but from the knowledge of who he was and who he had been.

He opened his maw to speak, wanting to speak to Locket, but knowing that he would scream and yell at her, he closed it again. He didn't need this, or any guilt on top of all his current problems. But he knew she had problems of her own as well, and that this was one of them. This was a problem for him too, but in a different manner. Thor didn't know what to do. For two months he'd thought of her, only to return home and find his feelings for her completely different than what he had remembered. Wether he didn't remember right or if his feelings had changed he didn't know.

Thor

Thor stood still, watching as the golden fae pulled herself to her feet, but avoided meeting direct contact with her own eyes. His eyes swept over her body and as he stood there the memory of their first meeting came back to him. He closed his eyes, trying to remember every detail, trying to decide what to do. He sighed, it was at that time he'd had no place to go, at first he'd pushed her away, then gave into his feelings for her. It jolted him back to the present, that was what he was doing now. Wasn't it? He wasn't sure, but didn't doubt it. He stared at Locket for a few long minutes and didn't move. Finally a tear trickled down his face.

He took a deep breath, but another droplet of water jumped from his optics. It had been a long time since he'd cried, actually, had he ever cried? No, he didn't think he'd ever cried before. And here he was, crying like a little baby. And before he'd wanted to throw a temper tantrum, like a little baby. What was he? A little baby? Anger flared through him for a brief moment, but he felt too weak to keep it alive. Thor closed his eyes and did his best to breathe deeply, but this only threatened him more. His normally extremely sturdy legs wobbled slightly, threatening to collapse.

Finally Thor exploded. He could take no more, the not-knowing what to do, the crying, the anger, the weakness, he could hold nothing more. The weakness had been the last straw, the last burden he could hold. With a tear still running down his face his eavesdroppers flew to the top of his skull, plastering themselves flat. His body trembled, still upset, He glared at the ground before him, then his cranium snapped around to bit at an itchy area of skin. Whipcord slashed furiously about at the pesky flies. Titaniums dug deeply into the loose soil, then he spun about and leaped forwards in the opposite direction, forcing himself to run from Locket so he wouldn't hurt her. Then he dissapeared from view for a few moments whilst he was letting out his anger.

After a few minutes he staggered back to where Locket stood, but did not venture close. His breath was shaky and limbs felt like jelly. His anger had been his energy, without it he felt weak. Finally he could stand no more and he collapsed, now feeling completely like a baby, but could do nothing about it. The tears came, and this time he let them fall rapidly. Thor lay awkwardly on his crumpled legs, but as he sobbed he put his head down upon his legs, feeling too weak to even hold it up. He swallowed hard and took a deep, shaky breath.

Finally he raised his cranium once more and his eyes landed upon Locket. For a few moments he did not even seem to breathe, all was silent, no tears fell either as he stared at Locket. He did not know why he was having such a hard time, nor why he was asking all these questions, nor why he was so concerned with why. It was life, do what feels right. You only have a few chances at love in your life, when you find one, grab it and don't let go. He had a hard time accepting love as he was used to life as a shadowkin, this was entering a whole new world. Seeing new things, being part of new things, and now having to do things differently. Thor swallowed again and then closed his eyes. But he knew which way to go and what to do. He had to accept that he still loved Locket, and not run from that fact and not be afraid of it. He had to love her for all it's worth and just go with the flow with whatever came.

Thor

The dark hued stallion lay 'pon the lithosphere, his long appendages folded awkwardly beneath him. He barely glanced up as Locket approached, but when she nuzzled him his skin shivered, he almost flinched. It wasn't her, it was him. This was so odd, so wierd. This never would have happened to him or her if he'd had any self control or any brains at all. It was dangerous and hurtful for her, right? And it wasn't helping him. But he knew, deep down, that he loved her and since she was still here, apparently she loved him too. It wasn't often that he felt he didn't know what to do and it especially wasn't often that he couldn't fake the confidence that he did know what to do. This was new to him and he really didn't know what to do because he didn't know what to do. (I know that's confusing, but it was fun to write. xD) Thor sighed and shook his head, looking down at the ground.

Locket's question came at him, but he didn't know what to say. He knew why, could he admit it? Did he even need to speak or could he just leave, run away, go jump off a cliff or something and leave the world that hurt him. Either there was something better following or he wouldn't know and there would be nothing. But it wouldn't matter if there was nothing because he would be nothing. Thor brushed off Locket's question for the moment and stood up. He felt stronger now, maybe the thinking had done him some good. He shook his head and stepped forward. He ambled across the way o'er to the cliff. He stopped at the very edge, dangerously close to simply losing his balance and falling.

For several long minutes Thor simply stared down, looking at the bottom of the ravine, the sharp rocks below. It would be a quick death, either painless or not very painful. He shifted his weight forward, remembering his earlier thoughts. Either there would be something better coming or nothing, but it wouldn't matter if there was nothing because he would be nothing so he wouldn't know if there was something or nothing or if he was better off or worse off. And hey, nobody here would miss him, nobody would care if he left, he doubted anybody would even notice he was gone or dead. And if they did, maybe they would be happy he was gone.

Thor started to step forward, off the cliff, but then caught the image of Locket in the corner of his eye. He'd forgotten about her. Would she miss him? Sure, she...loved...him, right? But maybe it was for the better, what if he hurt her later one and it would have been better if he had jumped off the cliff. No, love could not make up this decision, because he barely knew what love was and this whole love thing was way complicated. He felt he wanted the best for Locket, but didn't know what the best was. And it only further annoyed him. But then...wait...would he be considered a coward for giving into the harshness of life? Yeah, that's what he was doing, isn't it? Giving in, losing? No, he couldn't go like that, like a coward.

This was so stupid, that was so stupid, he was such a bastard. Who the hell was he and what the hell was he thinking? Thor turned and stared for a long time at Locket. After a couple minutes he began to walk forward, towards Locket, but stopped about ten, fifteen feet from her. He sighed and did not look at Locket, but at the ground next to her, or the tree in the distance, or the sky, but not at Locket. Not now. He spoke softly, his voice hesitant and raspy, remembering her earlier question.

"Because I do not know what to do. I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't even understand myself anymore. I don't even know why I think what I think or why I do what I do. "